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On Cinema at the Cinema Season 11 Episode 3: "Gemini Man" and "The Addams Family"
Strike that, Lord.
— Tim
| On Cinema at the Cinema | |
| Season | 11 |
|---|---|
| Episode | 3 |
| Host | Tim Heidecker |
| Announcer | Gregg Turkington Joe Estevez Josh Lorton (No-show) |
| Released | October 9, 2019 |
| Films reviewed | Gemini Man (2019, 117 mins.) The Addams Family (2019, 86 mins.) |
| Segments | Joe On Location |
| Runtime | 15 min. 57 sec. |
| Video link | YouTube Adult Swim |
The buffs look at the new Will Smith joint and herald the return of cinema's kookiest family.
Synopsis
Tim begins the show with his eyes closed in silent prayer; he says he wants to open and close the shows in this manner going forward. Before he can do much introduction, one of today's guests, Gregg Turkington, butts in to address Tim's accusations from last week concerning Mark Proksch's care during his coma. Gregg says he welcomes anyone to conduct an audit, and says Tim is “lucky” that Mark is alive and that Gregg “was a good friend to him.” A heated argument ensues, culminating with Tim aggressively slapping Gregg's popcorn away.
Tim says he has “big breaking business news” to announce: he has appointed the board of directors for his newly reclaimed company, On Cinema Properties. Josh Lorton, the director of Mister America, apparently will not be a part of it, as he seems to have inexplicably ghosted Tim. Today's other guest, Joe Estevez, is announced as the Chief Financial Officer, which he accepts gratefully. Tim also appoints Axiom and Manuel to the board, and LaRue as head of security and operations. Tim tasks Joe to dive into On Cinema's finances and report back with a plan.
Today's first film, Gemini Man, starring Will Smith, is a “spy-fi” thriller with “a mix of everything.” Tim loves it and awards it highest marks, and asks Joe to make a note of monetizing the “spy-fi” concept. Gregg says it is Will Smith's best performance, and predicts there will be a sequel. However, he takes the film to task for plagiarizing Double Decker, once again demonstrating Hollywood's shameless copycatting of the Decker franchise. He awards the film four bags, with a fifth bag for himself and Tim, who tasks Joe with looking into possible ways to combat Hollywood's thievery.
The next film is “just the The Addams Family cartoon,” according to Tim, who criticizes the filmmakers for recycling old ideas and reusing the audio from the original. He asks Joe to look into that too, and tells him to start carrying a pen and paper to take down Tim's endless stream of ideas. Gregg disputes that the filmmakers recycled the original material, but doesn't focus on that. He says that Tim Burton was originally supposed to direct this film, but stepped down rather than make a film without Johnny Depp, proving that Gregg's letter writing campaign to Burton did in fact have its intended effect. Gregg takes back all his harsh words for Burton and awards the film five bags.
A new segment debuts, Joe On Location, featuring the legend himself in various locations where his films were shot. Today's segment features Joe at Black's BBQ in Austin, Texas, where Doonby (2013, 104 mins.) was shot. Joe explains that in the film, he plays a doctor and a “a raging drunk” who talks to himself in the back of the restaurant's bar, in the final scene of the film.
After the segment, Tim thanks Joe, and announces that the new film Mister America will premiere this evening. Tim decides to thank the Almighty verbally for His blessings this time. He asks blessings upon Josh Lorton, “wherever he may be,” for creating a “future five-bagger” about Tim's campaign. Gregg tries to shoehorn the VFA into the prayer, but Tim makes sure God ignores him. After the amen, the lights dim, and Tim excoriates Gregg for interrupting the prayer.
The episode ends with a side-by-side comparison of the Gemini Man trailer with that of Decker: Unsealed, definitively proving Hollywood's blatant theft.